So this is probably the longest stint that I have gone with no post. Heck, I didn't even finish my last post. I have no excuses other then I have been busy. Busy being a mom to two children that require most if not all of my attention. I guess I feel most guilty about not blogging about Mason. I want him to have memories of things he was doing and for him to know how important he was too. One thing that I have definitely learned since becoming a mother is that ~ my life is not my own. You learn the true meaning of being selfless when you have children, which I'm not complaining about, I love my kids and I value them both so much. It is through them that I know who I am and what I was meant to do. I have my days~ Man! Do I have my days. Days where I want to bury my face in a pillow and scream as loud as I can but, there is noting in this world I would trade my life for. Sometimes I just have to laugh to keep from crying. I seriously feel like there is a camera hidden in my house filming the crazy stuff that goes on each and every day and the audience is laughing at me . For instance.... for almost two weeks straight Mason had horrible blow outs. One time there was no poop in his actual diaper but it was in a pile on the floor, Really? How does that even happen? The same week Mason was experiencing vomiting. I had never been around a puking baby this was new to me. Seriously it was like the exorcist took over his body and a puke foutine erupted. Craziest thing I had ever seen. Another puke experience was Mason would not go to sleep and I had reached my limit and went in for one final paci replacement and saw two separate piles of puke. One was all baby food the other formula and there is Mason laying in the middle of both covered in puke. So he got a bath for the third time that day. I have story after story like these. But it is motherhood. No one said it was going to be easy in fact I'm pretty sure everyone said it was the hardest job you will ever have. Buried in these extremely hard moments are the sweetest moments that just fill me with the most indescribable joy I have ever known. Like when Addison tells me I'm the best mommy to ever come from Heaven or when Mason kisses me on the lips. Having one kid has it perks. Addison and I went so many places and I was free to be more creative and a more hands on Mom. With the birth of Mason (whom I love very much and feel so blessed to have) there is a major difference in Addison. Him being born really rocked her world. She loves him and is very good to him , most of the time but, she has expressed that since he requires more attention, that I love him more. It breaks my heart to hear that. I try to reassure her frequently of my love and how very special she is to me. For three and a half years she was it for us. She was the center of Kevin and my world. All of our love and attention was solely give to Addison and now that time and love is shared between she and Mason. I can see where that would be hard to understand. I can see the benefit in having kids closer together but also not. I never wanted Addison to feel cheated like she was robbed of her time with just us but then again Mason never had just that time. The only me and Mason time I had was in the hospital and now the couple of hours a week I get when Addison is in school most of which he sleeps. I guess having two you can never truly be fair and you almost always feel like you there aren't enough hours in the day and you try to spread yourself too thin. Pretty sure these are all normal feeling for Moms.
Here I sit writing this thinking back over the last four and a half years watching Addison grow into a four year old and Mason an eleven months old little boy. Addison and Mason could not be more different. Addison was such a wonderful sweet little baby. I loved dressing her up. She has always been my sunny funny girl. She loves to be silly and I have never met someone who likes to shake her little booty so much. She has really become such a girlie girl. She thinks every outfit requires a tutu and makeup. She already has a boyfriend and she is just SO in love with Bishop but wants to marry Mason when she grows up. She is so very smart. The questions she asks me and the understanding of things she has, is crazy. I sometimes forget she is four. She has a memory like no other. I love that everyday when I pick her up she asks about my day. I love how compassionate she is when I get hurt. I love how very much she loves her Daddy and Grammy. I love when she tells Mason he is adorable and the best brother ever. I like it when she tells him he can do things like she does when he is bigger. She is a wonderful daughter. She gives me a run for my money but I love her so much.
Mason, oh Mason. He is my big blue eyes boy. He is my little booger boy. He is so easy to make laugh and smile. He loves to be included in Addison and Daddy's rough housing. He is very curious. He has absolutely no fear of anything. Hence the reason he hits his head at least three times a day, he fell in the tub head first (no water in there thank God) ate dog food, unrolled a roll of toilet paper , puts someones shoe in his mouth at least every day, had chewed on both a pad and tampon (neither used thank God again) almost successfully gotten the toilet bowl brush in his mouth three times. He gets his feeling hurt easy. He doesn't like being told "no" and will throw himself on the floor in a fit if you tell him no. He is so calm too. I can put him in the grocery cart and he will sit there quietly looking around for a very long time. He loves to eat and now requires a taste of whatever someone else has. He is always on the go trying to see how things work and what he can get in his mouth. He is way more oral the Addison ever was. He still at eleven months has yet to say Momma. When we enter Addison's room he starts saying "issy". He always wants to do whatever Addison is doing. He thinks she is so funny and loves it when she includes him in whatever she is doing.
I love my kids. I love that I have this opportunity. I do struggle A LOT with being a Mom. I'm far from perfect. I get tired and burnt out but, no job I have ever had, fills my soul like being a Mom. Not every day is rainbows and sunshine and home cooked meals and a spotless house, actually most days are quite the opposite of that. I think what I have learned is when you can look at all the crazy moments and say it is SO worth it just to have these two little people, that is unconditional love. My kids are great and I love them to pieces and I thank God for making me their Mom. I will never take them for granted. And if my blog isn't always updated its because I'm busy being a Mom.
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